Once upon a time there were three brothers. The two youngest were devout and lovely helper of the Kings Garden. But the oldest Brother behaved and act as he is better than everybody else. He always stuck to his opinion and didn’t except any other opinion. He was also a helper of the Kings Garden.
The two youngest always worked next to each other, so they could talk and laugh. The older Brother worked most of the time in a part of the garden by his self, but as soon as he came closer to the others, everybody was just still and frightened.
The two youngest brothers were afraid to make any mistake, because their older brother could get very angry for that reason. He kept telling them what is right and wrong and how to do the things properly. But the effect of that was just, that all the Gardeners became more afraid and the product of their work wasn’t great anymore.
One day the oldest brother listened to a conversation of his siblings. One of them planted the wrong Flower by an accident while the other one was laughing and said that this Garden has a very special character now and that it looks different but beautiful. In the same moment he slipped and pushed his brother accidentally into the mud.
The older brother was watching everything and just waited until a big fight starts. But he was surprised as he saw, that his brothers weren’t fighting at all. They started to laugh and said to each other that this was the best part of the day so far.
The older brother, behind the trees, was astonished and couldn’t believe how they were able to laugh, even if they planted the wrong plant and got totally dirty. But to the same time, he felt a deep desire. A desire for this inner calm of his brothers. He felt very lonely suddenly and he wanted to work together with his brothers, instead of being alone in his little Part of the Garden.
He realized, that mistakes are not as bad as he thought and perfection is just a kind of loneliness.
From the next day, he started to be more understanding and tried to work in harmony with his brothers. From that day on, everything changed into positive and even the garden was shining in new and amazing colours.
This story deals with acceptance and compassion. It is such an important thing and unfortunately, we forget about it quite often in our relationships.
I have chosen this topic because I just travelled with my boyfriend through New Zealand. We have been camping for one month and slept in our car.
A few years ago, I travelled for a longer time in Australia, also with my car. At those time, I didn’t just travel with one person. I have met many different people who travelled and camped with me from place to place. I have even been on the road with 5 girls in one Campervan. That is three years ago and we travelled also through New Zealand for one month.
I think exactly those Situation are a kind of a challenge for us.
When we decide to live together with certain people, to travel with them or to just be friends we must accept them how they are, because every single human being is unique and different.
And that is great, otherwise it will be boring, isn’t it? But so often we forget about that fact and expect others to act like us. We have got expectations.
And of course, it is just natural that we are looking for our own answers in others, because we refer most of the things in life to our experience and expect the way we act from others a well.
But every human being has his own answers and his own truth and we should respect and mind them.
There is no general truth, no collective right or wrong. That simply doesn’t exist. There is no red Line in the Universe which shows all of us the right way. Because everything is the right way.
Everything what we think is good for us and which feels satisfying is right for us. And everything which feels bad and unfulfilled is wrong for us. And that is individual, every human being has his own individual right and wrong.
The truth just exists in individual variants.
But this is the fact which we often forget. We think, that our truth, our right and wrong will be the same for our fellow human beings. But it is not. And those blindness causes fights. The only thing in that moment to avoid fights is compassion. If we are in a conflict situation, we must try to put ourselves totally into the others position and try to think like the other person.
When a fight knocks on the door, we need to see the truth and the right and wrong of the other person and not ours.
As soon as we do that, we will get an access which gives us the possibility to understand the other person. That will moderate the fight and instead of anger, there will be harmony.
Every human being has his very own type of acting and thinking. If we decide to stay together with a person, we must appreciate and respect the individuality to create a harmonious life. Otherwise we will just create frustration and disappointment and make the other person feeling bad just because of being themselves.
And for sure, sometimes we need to give other people a little guide, that they might be on the wrong way. But that should happen without any pressure, just as a pure Information.
I want to give a little example of a relationship.
The female part in a partnership wants most of the time a lot of attention, expect lovely text messages and romantic actions from her partner.
But the male part gives attention to her, just when he thinks it is the right moment, not when she is in need for it. His text messages are short and easy going like “OK” or “See ya” instead of her expectations “Alright my lovely honeybee, I can’t wait to see you, I give you thousand Kisses and love you to the universe and back”. And his actions are not often very romantic.
Everybody is different and have different views of life. And if we expect him to send us Love SMS, to plan romantic Dinners and gives us hugs and kisses every 10 Minutes, we will set him under pressure to change his natural personality and we will not just cause disappointment, we will also slowly lose this person.
Nobody likes it, to don’t be themselves. But we all love it to be accepted just how we are.
So, if we decide to have a common life, we must accept our partner how they are. We should accept all their unromantic actions, they very short SMS and even their need for freedom. We need to get rid of the thought of romantic text messages and instead of that, we should start every day without any expectation. Let it come, how it comes and it will be good.
And I think one of the most important things is, we must be thankful for everything what the other person is doing, and not offended of what he didn’t do. We humans see often first the bad things before we realize the good ones. We put our focus on what is missing, and not what is there already.
Let’s be grateful for everything what others do and please not angry because of things what they don’t do.
But if a relationship based on understanding, thankfulness and compassion, I think it will work pretty well.
I have met so many people in my life and I love it how different everybody is.
But of course, sometimes even if we do accept people how they are, we won’t feel comfortable in their company. And this is the moment where we must realize, that we are not on the same frequency and it just doesn’t fit. That could be in partner or friendships and even in business relations.
Sometimes it is better to break up than try to change or push somebody to something, which is not their nature.
A peaceful end is better than suffer because of obligations.
I think it is essential and so important for our own growth and our happiness to just spend time with those people, who swim on the same wave like us. Those people where we feel complete, where we feel comfortable, where we can be ourselves for 100%. People who support us with our visions and dreams instead of being in our way and those ones, who gives us the feeling that we are amazing.
I made those experience by myself. I have spent a long time in my life with people, who were on a totally different frequency than me. This is not a bad thing of course, they were just the frequency of country music, while I was more the heavy metal channel. But I always considered that as normal, until I have met people who has been on my frequency. Those people totally understood my way of thinking. They understood my gipsy Lifestyle. They were interested in my life, they were interested in spiritual things just like me and had similar plans.
After I have met those people, I felt suddenly right in this world. For half of my life I was wondering, why I am so different and I thought, something is wrong with me. I am an open-minded person and I talk often about private things. I am also very excursive and like it to do a lot of things to the same time. I do have a lot of interests and my concentration was never just on one thing.
I never had the thought of creating a Family or doing carrier in my mind. My mind was always just full of adventures. Colourful, creative and chaotic. But almost all my surrounding at those time wasn’t like that at all. Most of the people were looking for a good job in a good company and were talking about family and kids one day, while I never stopped to dream about adventures.
But suddenly there were people who understood me. People who motivated me to follow my dreams, who gave me positive feedback and were absolutely enthuse about what I am doing.
If those kinds of people are our closest surrounding, we will get happiness much faster. Now I know that something like “normal” doesn’t exist. There is simply no guideline for the right lifestyle, because everything is right.
So, if we want a fulfilled relationship we need to watch out for those people, who are on the same frequency than us and accept them with all their failures. Because every single human being in this world has failures.
If we try to always be perfect, or expect others to be perfect, we will never reach or receive what we want.
We will never stop to look for something. Because something like perfection doesn’t exist either. If we reach something, which seems perfect to us, there will be still always an increase. And consequently- welcome back to the Hamster wheel. We should consider mistakes as something great, as an amazing opportunity. Failures shapes us. What would we be without our rough edges? We would be boring and unbalanced. We would never learn something new, because without our mistakes we would never know what is right and wrong for us. Let’s be thankful for all our failures. We are born to make things wrong, to realize who we are. To realize what we really like and what we don’t like. I believe that every crisis is there for something. Everything what happen in our lives happen for a certain reason, to become more familiar with ourselves and to recognize our own truth. The truth about what we think it`s right or wrong, what makes us happy or not, what we find beautiful or not.
And like that, everybody who pursuit perfection will never have a fulfilled life, will never be complete happy. Because acceptance is not just important for our fellow human beings. It is also important for our course of life.
If we not just consider the good times as a present, but also the bad times we have the chance to reach a fulfilled life.
What I noticed is, that people often see the same situation completely different. Our mind system and emotions work different from human to human.
I want to give you a simple example:
A few days ago, I have been in the car with my boyfriend and I was driving along a little Highway. At one point there was a roundabout. We were supposed to go straight, but for me it looks like the street ends up in a car park at the lake. So, I took automatically a right turn. We drove to a little suburb, but reached the same Highway just after a few minutes. I just continued. But on our way back, I was wondering that I could just drive straight to the roundabout, without going through the suburb. I said to my boyfriend that I find it very weird and he answered that he was wondering all the time why I have taken the right turn earlier, instead of just driving straight. In that moment I saw the Car park which was just on the side of the road. While his senses could see the whole street and the car park. My senses were just able to see the car park, but not the street.
It is fascinating how different our mind works and react sometimes.
In my studies I wrote my Bachelor Thesis about Marketing Psychology. I have read a lot of amazing books about the function of our brain. The perception of every human in this world is different. If we stay for example in front of a lake with trees, boats and Mountains, we will never see this landscape in exact the same way as the person next to us. This is just incredible. It is the same with tasting. I would never taste the same dish exactly the same way as somebody else. I could expand this topic now but that will go beyond the scope.
Let’s not work against each other. Let’s work together in acceptance and compassion. Let’s be grateful for the fact that everybody is unique and different.
If we want fulfilled relationships, we shouldn’t search for our own answers in other persons.
Let’s show compassion whenever it’s needed. I believe that nobody is truly evil or mean something malicious on purpose. Everybody is just acting because of their own fear or their love.
We should try to see exactly that in other people and accept their acts. Accept it or leave it.
If our friend loves steak with chocolate sauce for example, we just can’t understand how he can eat that. While we consider it as disgusting, impossible and totally wrong, his mind considers it as totally right, delicious and possible. And like that, everybody of us has their own right and wrong and we should accept it.
If there is a forthcoming fight, let’s try to be questioning why the other person is acting like he acts and let’s try to show compassion. And I am pretty sure, the situation won’t end up in a big fight.
With these words I hope you liked this story and you did appreciate it to read. Please be aware of my next story. It will be split in three parts and tells my adventurous travel through Asia.
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