Once upon a time, there was a little girl. This girl, all alone, got lost in the depth of the dark forest. She was so afraid that she didn`t stop walking fast. Suddenly she heard something whistle inside a bush. She was shocked and started to walk faster. Just a few seconds later, she heard a rustle. She has been terrified so much, that she starts to run. She was running fast and the wind was strong. The trees were shaking and it seems to her like they were alive. She heard noises everywhere, but after a while she was too exhausted to run any further. She sat down at the bottom of a tree. At the same time, the lovely fox came around the corner. She was paralyzed with terror. “Why are you so afraid my little girl?”, the fox was asking. “Because here are monsters, the forest is full of evil monsters!”
The fox told and promised her, that the forest is just good and not evil. “There is nothing that going to hurt you. Just trust. And now go and find your home. “
The girl turned around and went the same way back. Again, she heard the noises. But this time, she saw that the whistle was a little bird, who sang a beautiful morning song. The rustle was a cute and fluffy rabbit, which was such as afraid as her. She calmed down slowly. The wind was shaking the trees. But this time, she felt the wind on her cheeks and enjoyed that fresh touch. She arrived home after a quick time. She felt relaxed and happy to see the dark forest with better eyes now.
This story deals with the change of perspective. Life often remembered me to see things different than they seem. To think more positive or to use the ability to see situations in two different ways. One with Love, one with fear.
Life was always right on my side. The only thing I had to do was seeing things from a different angle.
We can already move mountains with this simple tool. The famous proverb ‘’You can see the glass half empty, or half full’’ is doubtless true. For this purpose, a little story, which just happened a few weeks ago.
I am disgusted by Insects and reptiles. Not that I have a phobia or similar. I just don’t like the company of them. Recently, I had a walk through the forest. As I came back to my car, I discovered a little worm on my upper arm.
In a situation like that, I would usually be panicking and through it out. But this time I decided, to give that situation a chance. I left the worm on my upper arm and observed him. I considered its face and in this moment, something bizarre happened. This little worm was laughing. It was laughing at me like it got teeth’s. It crawled along my arm and I put the worm in my hand. It was still laughing directly into my face, whilst crawling. I found this so funny and started to laugh as well.
And there I was. Laughing in a car, together with a worm. I put it outside in the grass and felt gratitude. This little thing brightened my day, just because I changed my few of the point. Instead with negative feelings, I saw this situation with a positive attitude. And this is the moment where life is coming to support us and as a token of gratitude, I have got a smile back.
My few of the point was often very limited. But I know, even if I am grateful to have the ability of changing my perspective, that many situations in my life, where I didn’t broaden my mind, where supposed to be like that. Every Situation and every event came into my life for a special reason, leading me to understand. The main content of life are causalities. Most of them we don’t perceive, but if we do, we are totally surprised about it. It is known as the Butterfly Effect. Today-it won’t be like it is if it weren’t yesterday like it was. And thus, everything has a meaning, if positive or negative. Even if we think ‘’Why does it happen to me all the time’’, life will give us the answer. Someday.
Following story didn’t just give me one answer, it gave me a lot more…
Approximately 3 years ago I have been the first time in my life in Bali, Indonesia. It was even my first time in Asia. I flew to Denpasar with a friend, close to the capital Kuta.
For any reason, I saw Bali quite fearful and suspicious.
On this actually truly beautiful Island, I didn’t feel as good as I expected.
I mean of course, the culture in this country couldn’t be more far away from my own European culture. In the western culture, which I was used to, it is clean, structured and trustful while Asia seems impure, unorganized and corrupt. Which is true, but this is the culture. I should have accepted it, feel it, learn and enjoy it. But I didn’t. I was just looking for something I know. Something well known, something European to get the feeling of security and safety. But for sure, my search was hopeless. It will be always hopeless when we are blind. When we don’t open our heart for the unknown, we won’t find what we are looking for.
The safety and security was right in front of me, just in a different way I used to be.
Instead of changing my view of these Situation, see it with a positive and open-minded heart, I was just narrow. Now, when I look back, I know that on the one hand, it was supposed to be like that because it is shaping my character. But on the other hand, a change of perspective would have make my Situation much more relaxed and enjoyable.
Before Asia I have lived already one year in Australia. But this country is a way closer to the western culture. There, I have been in similar situations as well, situation which where strange and unknown. But I still had the feeling of security and safety there, even if a snake could have kill me in every corner. Not every strange situation has to scare us, but there are certain ones, which does from the depth of our subconscious.
Compare to Flensburg, I felt much stronger in my mind after I have been out and experienced different places. But of course, there are still times where we feel not that strong and well. But these times are supposed to be there, supposed to happen. But most of the time, we don’t realize that exactly this belongs to our grown up. And we don’t realize, that we must accept those times and do the best with every situation.
Bali was my first relapse
Late in the night we arrived the Airport in Bali. We didn’t book a hotel because people told us, we should just book on site because it will be easier and cheaper. They also warned us, that taxi drivers are very corrupt and fraudulent. So, yea, after we arrived Bali, we were sitting in one of those taxis.
My first impression was a swastika, hanging on the mirror in the front. I was shocked. At those time, I didn’t know what the swastika means in the Asian culture. It stays for Luck, wealth and knowledge.
The Taxi driver was asking, where we want to go and my focus was now on that. We gave him the address, which the people recommended to us. But he said he is not able to pass this street, because it is closed. But he suggests a hotel of his friend. It was late and we were tired, so we did agree.
The hotel was alright and the breakfast the next morning very good. And the best thing in this hotel was, that they had the same Christmas grocery than my grandmother in Germany.
As we were looking for another hotel, we find out that all the other hotels with the same standard were a way cheaper than ours before. So, we have been cheated by him.
After a few lazy days at the pool and bargain at the markets, we decided to rent a scooter and drive around the whole island. We left our backpacks in the Hotel, grabbed small bags and left Kuta for a bit more than one week.
The adventure starts
But I realized already in the first seconds, that it wasn’t an adventure, it was a fight to survive. The traffic was like a wild war on the street. We shared the lane with at least two scooters and one car. We tried to make our way through the traffic. I was fully concentrate on the street in front of me, without having a look to the left or to the right. And then, suddenly, something was right in front of me. It was a car on the wrong lane, we almost hit each other. My heart was bumping like anything. But he was not the only one. More cars and even small trucks appeared in front of me and were using the wrong lane. It was like playing a videogame in real life.
But I didn’t expect that the worse thing was still ahead. A junction. There were hundredths of cars and scooters in every direction. And before I had time to think what do to next, the traffic light was turning green. I just stepped on the gas and prayed not to die.
We were sweating and full of adrenalin as we finally arrived a little peninsula in the very south of Bali. There it was quiet. We sat down next to a beautiful fountain and enjoyed the silence. After a while a scooter driver passed our way. But it wasn`t just one person on the scooter. It was the whole family. I have never seen something like that before. A man was sitting in the front. Between his foots sat a dog, between his legs a child and behind him 2 other women with a huge TV in their hands.
For the first time at this day I started to laugh. I laughed so much that I couldn`t stop. I still don’t know how the guys in Asia can fit so many things on one scooter. But it is quite impressive. And for sure, he wasn’t the only one. Just a couple of minutes later another scooter came. We couldn ‘t see the driver or even the scooter, because it was full of water canister. A mountain of water canisters passed our way. And so on, we have met a lot of weird and funny scooter drivers on our way.
After all those happenings, we were eating dinner in a wonderful Tree house next to the beach and got a hotel close by as well.
The next day we were heading towards north. It was one of my worse days on this travel. We drove on a little highway, but the traffic was still insane, like in the city. I was waiting for a little bit of pure nature, without people. But that was not possible.
And instead of accepting those situations and make the best of it, I was still looking for something. Looking for something better.
Instead of being a great part of this beautiful culture for a while I was dogged and narrow.
I was still struggling with the traffic and much slower than all the others on this road. And then, something happened which knocked me completely out of the day. A scooter driver, who has been already a long time in front of us, hit another car. He didn’t wear a helmet. I have heard the dull bang of the body on the ground. Many people came and try to help. I still don’t know if this guy survived or not.
After that, I couldn’t drive further. I was not able to drive even on second more on this scooter. But I didn’t have another choice. I mean, we were in the middle of nowhere. After a while we arrived a little village with a hotel. We stayed there overnight and I felt asleep in 1 Minute.
Of course, it is hard to keep calm in such a moment like that or to change the perspective. What happened was bad. But I was exhausted after. I was going crazy, I totally freaked out, instead of accepting what happened. I became completely caught in this role. But I didn’t realize that I make the situation even worse with those behavior.
Handle certain situations is an important part in our life, what we must learn.
Even if the situation is bad. We can’t change it anyway. It is the past. And in those Situations, where we can’t help, we must have a look what is the best for ourselves.
I will never forget the next day…
People told us about a Mountain. They said you should go on the top of this Mountain. So, we did. The way was extremely long, winding and steep. And I wasn’t a good scooter driver. At one point of the mountain it was so steep and curvy, that I was afraid to drive further. I dropped the speed. It turned out, that this was a stupid idea. So, I ended up straight in the bush. The scooter was lying above me and I couldn’t lift it up, it was too heavy. Suddenly, two little kids came to help me. They lifted my scooter like a feather. I was quite embarrassed that I couldn’t lift it up by myself. But I said thank you and drove further. My friend was waiting a few hundredth meters ahead.
He looked at me very appalled and ask what the hell happened to me. I didn’t understand his reaction until I looked down on me. My trousers were full of holes, my legs and my arms were bleeding and my body was full of dirt and leaves. I started to laugh. Even if I was still shocked.
After a few hours, we arrived the top of the mountain. Is was freezing cold up there and we needed to change our clothes. The little village seemed very poor. There were just little wooden cabins, some of them even without roofs. A lot of street dogs passed our way. Many of them without tails and ears and sometimes even a leg was missing. The locals stayed on the side of the street and tried to sell their vegetables and fruits. A lot of rubbish and left overs were lying on the streets and even inside the cabins. In the heart of those little town, we saw a proper house. It was a restaurant with a little hotel. We went there for lunch. I couldn’t really enjoy the food because I wasn’t relaxed at all. I just wanted to leave this place. I wanted to go desperately in the next city in a nice hotel. We continued driving. The way down on the other side wasn’t that long like before. We arrived the bottom in around 30 Minutes.
I was looking around me and couldn’t see my friend anymore. He was gone. I stopped on the left side and was waiting. But he didn’t appear. After a while. I started to be worried. My heart was bumping faster and faster with every minute. I decided to turn around. I must see him on the way back, I thought. I drove until the bottom of the mountain. But nothing. He wasn’t there. I drove back to the point where I was waiting before. Nothing. Then I noticed, that he have got all the money in his backpack. The only thing I have got with me was a phone which was not working, because I didn’t have an Indonesian Sim card.
I was lost. I looked at my petrol. It was empty. I started to cry. I didn’t know what to do so I kept staying on the same point. But after a while I needed to do something. I needed to act because it even started to get dark. I drove back to the bottom of the Mountain. I looked at the people around me. It seems like there were just guys who didn’t stopped watching me. I was afraid, as I am a little blond girl. I started to panic. In this moment, it started to rain. The rain was so heavy that I almost felt down with my scooter. I prayed that my petrol will be enough. But enough for what? I didn’t even know where to go in this rain without money.
In this moment, totally wet, I never felt stranger and more far away from home in my life.
I had to do something. I couldn’t drive in circles.
My only chance to maybe meet my friend was driving back to the restaurant, where we have seen each other the last time. I was afraid to drive this steep mountain in this heavy rain. But I did. I was full of hope that my petrol will be enough and I won’t die.
I arrived the restaurant, crying like anything. A guy came out and ask me what happened. I told him the story and asked him, if he have seen my friend. He didn’t. His English wasn’t good but we understood each other somehow. He was a little bit younger than me. Inside he gave me a beer and offered me Wifi. That was great. I wrote my friend at Facebook and hoped that he will look for internet as well and do the same.
In the meanwhile, I started to drink my beer with this boy. A friend of him came as well. We talked with hands and feet’s and a little bit of English, but it was ok. Both were very lovely and happy to listen to me. Suddenly I felt much better than before. They gave me a feeling of security.
At those time, I was still smoking and one of the employees bought me a package of Lucky Strike. “For me?”, I was asking him. He had a bright smile in his face and said yes. I was speechless and so grateful, because I knew that the people are very poor up there.
I couldn’t believe how friendly those people were and I totally opened my heart.
I felt so much love around me and all my fear was just gone. One of those guys told me it was his biggest wish, to go to school. He had to work and help his family since he was a child, so there was no time and not enough money to go to school. But he accepted his situation and weren’t worried about anything. He said, travelling is just existing in his dreams and that he appreciates it to listen to my stories. He was so happy, talking to me that I saw his eyes shining like the sun.
He just had that simple dream, going to school.
I felt very stupid. I had everything in my life what I needed and much more. I travelled. My life gave me the opportunity to see the world, to experience different cultures. But I was so negative before. I was afraid of those lovely people, I just saw rubbish on the streets and my view was stubborn.
This guy in the Restaurant was poor, but he was a way happier than me at those time.
All the material stuff in our world is worthless. We don’t need anything to be happy. Nothing but ourselves and love. This guy, he never moved to any other country, he don’t have a proper house, no proper bed. He doesn’t have a car or a Laptop. He didn’t even have the opportunity, going to school. But he is still rich, because he is happy with everything life gives him and he knows what love is.
Those people couldn’t be more heartily. They were very interested in my life and listened attentive to my stories.
One of the guys asked me, if he can add me at Facebook. He owned a little Smartphone. As I said yes, he was overjoyed and extremely thankful. It was amazing to see, how happy he was just because of a little gesture.
I am sure that the people on the bottom of the Mountain, who I was afraid of, are as friendly as them.
I wish I would have given them a chance, instead of being afraid.
I was so lost and deep in those conversations, that I totally forgot to look on my phone, if I received a message from my friend. And yes. He answered me a long time ago already. He has been in the next city and turn around. He arrived at my place just a few minutes after I have read his message. We still don’t know, how we lost each other.
In this night, we booked the hotel next to the restaurant. We have got a huge and new wooden cabin just for ourselves. Inside was a canopy bed and a nice balcony. I have never seen a nicer room than this one. The next morning, I moved to the balcony.
This morning, I saw the real beauty of this Island for the first time.
The view, the nature, everything was stunning. I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was. But my question was, how were I able to consider this place as ugly? Why did I asked my friend a day before if we can look for a nice Hotel in the next city! The most beautiful Hotel was just in front of me. We are so blind sometimes. Our fear makes us blind for the beauty of Life.
While we were eating breakfast, the silence came. This wonderful silence after a storm. I enjoyed it so much and a feeling of pure happiness came over me.
My view of the point changed automatically. I needed this situation. I realized, that we must take life like it is and how it comes. We must accept. Acceptance is one of our most powerful tools. Maybe even the most important one. If we don’t take life like it comes and instead of this fighting against it, we won’t feel happy and we will always turn out in situations, where we feel uncomfortable.
If I would have been calmed on the bottom of the mountain I would not have feel this horrible fear but instead of this, maybe something very beautiful.
We create discomfort in just thinking the wrong thoughts. When we already biased, the situation
will turn out how we think about it before. Just automatically. There is a nice quote which says:
“Problems doesn’t exist, just our reaction to it.” Our reaction creates the problem. If we still
think positive about certain situations, it won’t be a problem anymore, just a certain situation.
And of course, there will be situations which we can‘t see positive for a longer time. Situations we are not able to change, for example a boss who doesn’t treat us good. In this case, we need to leave it. If we can’t change something into positive and if we feel uncomfortable, we must change it as soon as possible. Life is too beautiful to don’t enjoy every Minute. And as I said in my fist text already. When we must leave a situation, it might be even darker than before for a while. Those times are not always easy. But after it, after the darkness, something great is waiting, something which is much better than before.
I will give you a little example, how people can have the wrong thoughts.
The last month, I lived in on a little Island in Germany. The name is Helgoland. At the breakfast buffet, I was listening to two Ladies who had a conversation.
They were just complaining about the high taxes they must pay, how horrible the boat trip to this island was, how expensive everything is, how her back hurts constantly and so on. Both had an expression in their face like they have met the devil just before.
I was very confused and was wondering, how they can be so negative. It was their holiday, they were sitting in an extremely cute restaurant with a delicious breakfast and a stunning view over the sea. The sky was blue and the sun shining like anything. The birds were singing their summer songs.
It was very sad to listen to those ladies. I felt sorry for them. It was so easy to just enjoy the moment there. In this moment, there were no problems. Nothing bad.
Why do they just carry all the problems with them like a handbag. This handbag is getting more heavy and heavy. Those Ladies just collect their problems, they never sort out. One day, the handbag will be so heavy that they are not able to walk anymore. The weight of this handbag full of problems will keep them away from an easy, happy and fulfilled life. And it is just their own fault. Nobody else is responsible for that.
But sadder was the fact, that those ladies reminded me on myself. Sadly, I was often exactly like them. I was always looking for something better, I was searching. Just searching.
Often, I didn’t realize, that the “better” is right in front of me.
All the beauty and all the happiness were already in there. Everything I needed was there. But I didn’t open my eyes. That was the same in Bali.
And of course, some situations were not great. But my reaction made it worse. Because of my unilateral and negative attitude, I couldn’t win more than frustration and discomfort. Like the Ladies in Helgoland. They were so focused on all the negative things, they didn’t even give positive things the chance to come into their life’s.
I will tell you another example. It was my first-time snorkeling. I have been at the great barrier reef on the east coast of Australia. And of course, in Australia are sharks. With this thought, I already jumped into the water, even if there was nothing. I was swimming like a maniac up and down. Eventually after a while I made it to put my snorkeling wear on my head. I had a look under the water. I looked to the left, I looked to the right. I just looked nervous around me, if there are any sharks. I was so focused of possibly dangerous things around me, that I didn’t even realize how far from the boat I have been already. As I noticed that, I was swimming as fast as I could back to the boat. I held myself on the boats ladder.
I was exhausted. I was totally out of energy. And then I saw the others. All the people who were snorkeling as well. Calmed, relaxed and happy. A few of them were talking with each other and exchanged their experience under water. Apparently, they have seen a lot of nice and colorful fishes. “Fishes?” I haven’t seen any fishes, I thought.
And in this moment, I perceived myself and how radicicolous my behavior was.
I have been afraid of something, which wasn’t even there.
I freaked out just because of my own mind.
So, I gave the underwater world a second chance. It was beautiful. It was breathtaking and I was speechless. I calmed myself down and just observed the moment and what was right in front of me, instead of looking for something. There were hundredths of colorful fishes and corals. I enjoyed the rest of the snorkeling tour and I was so happy, that I changed my view of this situation in that moment. Sometimes, fear makes us blind and doesn’t allow us to see the beauty of life.
There is a wonderful quote which I love so much:
What, if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what, if you flight?
We can just receive the good, when we send something good out in the world. It is so easy. It is the law of attraction, short- Karma. Karma comes from the old Indian philosophy and is a fixed component of the Hinduism and means, we will receive what we give.
When we through a black boomerang, the same black boomerang will turn back to us. When we through a white boomerang, the same white one will turn back. Especially our thoughts are important. We create our world with our thoughts. What we think, from the depth of our heart, that will happen. Like my snorkeling. I saw the same situation with two perspectives. Nothing in my surroundings changed. It was the same. Just my attitude changed the whole world around me.
Be careful with your thoughts, stay calmed and positive, it doesn’t matter in which situation. Life will be thankful for this, for you.
Always see that there are just two views of the point. One with Love and one with Fear. And now guess, which is better…
I hope you liked my story and thank you so much for reading it. I really appreciate that and without you guys it won’t be possible to realize my dream.
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